Love Search

It’s not often that some random person on the internet will have the desire to publicly broadcast their personal love life and their quest to find love, but this talk that I recently shared with a dear friend worked wonders for her life and now she’s insisting that I spread this knowledge that helped her so much. So now here I am posting on this friendly blog to share my personal love life.

The truth is, I’m a young woman and I’ve been single for over four years. Four years … I’ve been working hard on my business as a dog trainer and so the excuse you might be expecting here is that I haven’t had the time to find the right man yet. That isn’t true. I’ve had plenty of time  in the past four years, have shared a few one night stands, a few long weekends in the next town over, but I’m just not ready. Right now, my husband is my damn business which I’ve scraped up off the ground from nothing. If I were to have a man in my daily life right now, he’d either need to be helping my business or inspiring me to work harder on it which, frankly, most men don’t do. I don’t fall for the traps that “social construction” lays out for me. People blindly believe that every woman should get married and raise kids just because parts of society say so. That’s a damn social construction, a belief that has no underpin, isn’t friggin real. Men wake up everyday and they don’t wear dresses because society tells them they should wear jeans. Well if a man can put on a dress, I can go a few decades without a burden in my bed who wants to waste my time on the weekends. But then again, perhaps there really is a right man that could stumble into my life at any moment. My friend believes in soulmates and I pine to believe her but I just can’t until it happens to me.

If you’re on a love search, ask yourself why. Are you searching for love because you need it? Or are you searching for love because society and almost every movie and song insists that you do? The only other reason you could be stressing yourself over this love search, the only reason you could be wasting your time with abusive men who don’t care about you, is because you don’t love yourself enough. You don’t love yourself enough to have an anchor which grounds you and makes you feel content even when you’re all alone. We need to love ourselves and don’t listen to people who say you shouldn’t love yourself because it’s “selfish”. I love myself so much that I would never want to see myself degrade into selfishness. I love myself so much that I want to give myself noble qualities, like having a dream and working towards it every day. Dating a new man every few years is not a noble quality. I am going to wait until I am ready, work hard on my dog training business, and perhaps one day I can truly believe in soulmates.